A few days ago, I wrote a post on Finally Loving Myself. It was difficult to write, difficult to admit how very to the end of my end I’d gotten, how much I needed to really focus on me. And then, it was encouraging to myself as I listed some things I’d do to get myself back to where I need to be.
The only thing is, it was sort of a lie.
I forced myself to push “publish” , knowing that otherwise I might chicken out and not do so. (I did chicken out promoting it on Facebook until a few days later though, and it seems that nobody knows about it unless I announce it, but hey, it was still Out There.)
It wasn’t really a lie, per say, but it was way more optimistic than I really felt. Let’s just say I put on a good front.
I recently watched an interview by Oprah of Dr. Brené Brown. I was blown away by her ability to give words to describe, or rather to explain, things I’ve been struggling with. I definitely want to read her book, Daring Greatly, in which she goes into more detail about her findings as a researcher who has studied some very hard topics: vulnerability and shame.
I was captivated. I watched her TedX talk that went viral with over eight million views. (Ok, I’ve been trying to add the player here so that you can watch it here, but have had difficulties. So. Two days have gone by, still no publish, enough is enough. Follow the above link to watch it if you’d like, and I’m publishing now. See, isn’t that daring….;))
And then I began my breakdown spiritual re-awakening.
When I say I’m ready to Finally Love Myself, it’s true. But it’s not only to do that fun optimistic stuff I mentioned before, like getting alone time, exercise time, or taking time to jump in puddles.
You know how when there’s some kind of emergency that you need to snap into action for, you just do what needs to be done until it’s over, and only then can you really take a deep breath (and perhaps have a good cry)?
Well, I think that it’s time for me to do that, only on a larger scale. In order to give myself the time and attention that I need, I actually need to give myself permission to Become Unglued.
My ability to love others stems from my ability to love myself. And my ability to love myself stems from my worthiness. And my worthiness comes from God. Because He knows me and He loves me and there ain’t nothing I can do about it.
I’ll be meditating on that.
Theodore Roosevelt said:
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.“